September 30, 2009

J. D. Riso


The Mirror


"Which, after all, is the more real, the one that mirrors itself or the mirror that it uses"—Carl Jung

As it lay in self-inflicted shards,
trod upon by oblivious boots,
ground down to dust,
the mirror reflected
upon the admiring glances
and endearments
it had received in its long lifetime ­
I love you
I hate you
you gorgeous creature
you're the man
you still look damn good.

One can only take so many lies.

—An earlier version appeared in 55 Words

CP

J. D. Riso's novel, Blue, was published by Murphy's Law Press, 2006. Her short fiction and travel writing have appeared in Avatar Review, Superstition Review, and many others. She was last seen wandering Eastern Europe in the company of a Frenchman and a big brown rabbit.

Ivan Jenson


Time to Leave


I would leave you in a second
but I have no place
to go
everyone I know is
busy, too busy
for the likes of me
I would tell you how
I really feel
but I have nothing to say
that would not sound
overly dramatic
overstated
underwhelming
I could end this now
but I am too old
for beginnings
getting to know
someone new
at this point
would be like
relocating
and I like my hometown
I know my way around
cashiers and tellers
know my face
and I know theirs
is slowly changing
gray hair and gravity
and so I promise
I will never leave you
I will always be here
with you
loneliness

CP

Ivan Jenson has published widely in the US and the UK and received recognition for his bold Pop Art. His Absolut Jenson painting was featured in Art News, Art in America, and he has sold several works at Christie's, New York. His poems have appeared or are forthcoming in Word Riot, Zygote in my Coffee, Poetry Super Highway, Hidden City Quarterly, and many others. He now writes novels and poetry in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

September 29, 2009

Rebecca Gaffron


Leaving


That was how it felt to fall in love:
Hawthorn hedges dripping lip-red berries
Cider and chips
Blue-bell bowers

And this is how it feels to leave:
Cloud kissed beacon weeping mist
Stomach wrenching
Nettle stings

Smile:
Better to have loved short than not at all
Wipe away sea-spray tears
Say goodbye

CP

Rebecca Gaffron is a sometimes writer, sometimes procrastinator, and hopes she will be forgiven for both. She can be found here.

Suzy Devere


HOW IT GOES


when you are tired of women who are not enough
you will find me

but you will say i am too much
and you will look for less

and then you will meet someone you barely know
who keeps her mouth shut
and you will get her pregnant
and then you'll have a family
and maybe a wife
and then you'll hate your wife
when she starts to open her mouth

and you will look for someone else
more
or
less



BLACK STRIP

UNREQUITED LOVE HAS FINALLY PLACED A BLACK
STRIP ACROSS YOUR FACE IN MY MIND

ITS SINGLE MERCIFUL ACT

I CAN NO LONGER DISTINGUISH YOU
FROM ANYONE ELSE WHO NEVER LOVED ME


CP

Suzy Devere is a prostitute, a drug addict, a Dr.'s wife, a Lawyer's wife, a mistress to a famous Saudi Sheik, a mother, an intellectual, an academic, an athlete, a painter, a drawer, a photographer, and writer who feels utterly, stunningly alone. Her work has appeared in various sites on-line including Black-Listed and 3:00 AM. Suzy has lived all over the world but right now lives next door to you.

September 28, 2009

Wayne Scheer


The Old Neighborhood


Me and my buddy Angelo lucked into a parking spot and began walking down Essex Street in Brooklyn, like we owned the place. The way we did when we were kids. Only thing is the place had changed. It wasn't that it was more run down or anything—it wasn't in great shape when we lived there—but the smells were different. It's hard to explain.

I was expecting to see Greenberg's Grocery Store, on the corner of Essex and DuMont. He always had this big barrel of sour pickles holding open the door during the summer. Next door was Vinnie's Pizzeria. You could smell the pizza and pickles halfway down the block, and it always told me I was home. But neither place was there any more. They built this apartment house instead. What made me sad was the new building looked like it had been there forever.

We could hardly find our old apartment building, like our past wasn't there any more. The bricks had been painted red and there was this black wrought iron fence separating it from the street. The building looked nice enough, but it reminded me of one of those make-believe facades you see in Disneyland.

That's when we saw this Puerto Rican dude spray painting the cellar door in front of what used to be Doc's Drug Store. I couldn't make out what the hell he was spraying, just a bunch of squiggles and Spanish words—gang shit.

Without thinking, I yelled, "Hey, cut that out."

The guy looked up like I wanted to die young. I saw his muscles bulge from his wife-beater T-shirt and the hand not holding the spray can was balled into a fist. So I put on this tough guy act I learned watching De Niro movies. I squinted at him and wrinkled my nose.

I hoped I didn't look like the fucking Easter bunny.

No doubt the dude could kick my ass from here to Canarsie. But I couldn't back down.

Lucky for me, Angelo stepped between us. He's only about five feet six, but even his face has muscles. He looks at you wrong and your eyebrows fall out.

Angelo just stared until the guy blinked. Then he said, in a voice that scared me, "Get the fuck outta here." The guy pointed to me and laughed. He sprayed one last dot on his masterpiece and walked away real slow, like he had won the battle.

Angelo turned to me. "What the hell you do that for? Doc doesn't even own this place any more. Besides, we used to write on the walls all the time."

"Yeah, but what I wrote made sense, you know? Like the stuff I used to write about Maria DeCannio sucking donkeys.

I could see Angelo was thinking about Maria. He almost smiled. Then he said, "We better get outta here, man, before the guy comes back with his buddies."

So we hopped in my Buick and drove home to Long Island.

CP

Wayne Scheer, a frequent contributor to Camroc Press Review, has been locked in a room with his computer and turtle since his retirement. (Wayne's, not the turtle's.) To keep from going back to work, he's published hundreds of short stories, essays and poems, including, Revealing Moments, a collection of twenty-four flash stories, available as a free download here. He's been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and a Best of the Net.

September 27, 2009

xTx


Tuesday Afternoon


The house is so hot. Los Angeles has been baking in the nineties the last two days. I walk around relishing breezes from open doors, windows.

I have no pants on.

My tongue peels skin off the roof of my mouth. I'm not sure what I did there. I don't remember eating hot pizza.

I am still trying to put a respectable dent into the jug of Gallo wine. If I had a camera, I'd take a picture of it and insert it at this point.

Today I still have a job, but my paycheck has been reduced by 10%. I should be happy about this I guess...having a job. Right?

Tomorrow I go to a cancer ward full of children. I will hand them toys and hopefully they will smile. I keep wondering what I should wear for this; blue, I think.

CP

xTx will sizzle away most of the rest of her week here.

Michael Pelc


Old Men


Old men are made of old dreams.
And I have grown old
reaching out for dreams,
those glimmering bits of frost
that elude my grasp
by melting at my touch.




Reunion

We clink our glasses
and paint proper smiles
upon our lips,
just the way our mothers taught us,
while long-forgotten lies
that once played
at being the truth
turn themselves into poems.

But they rhyme too well
to sound sincere,
and so I let them go.
And with them, you.


CP

Michael Pelc lives on the west coast of Florida with his wife and a scaredy cat that few others have ever seen. His poetry has appeared in Hudson View Poetry Digest and The Peppertree Literary Magazine.

September 26, 2009

Carter Jefferson

—Photo Station Hospital by U.S. Army Medical Department


Don't Write to Me


During afternoon mail call at Fort Sam's field artillery barracks, Pfc. Angus Campbell received a handwritten letter dated the day before:


Station Hospital
Fort Sam Houston, Texas

April 22, 1938

Dear Angus,

I hate writing this letter.

You are a tender and generous man, and I can't see you anymore. There's all the obvious reasons, but the main one is that there is no chance of us ever getting to be a real couple, and what we did yesterday afternoon I don't do. I am what people usually call a "nice girl." That's not to say it wasn't wonderful.


Anyhow, don't write to me. Since I've told you not to, I don't have to figure when I don't hear from you that I was just a "piece of ass." Which I probably was.


But I'll always remember you, anyhow.

Sarah



That evening, when the barracks was empty except for some guy shining his shoes six beds up the line, Campbell lay in his bunk with his tie pulled down and thought about Sarah and his mother and his dead father. The next day he told his first sergeant that he was going to reenlist for Hawaii, if he could get an artillery billet.

He threw away the letter.

CP

Carter Jefferson is editor of The Internet Review of Books. He also is a member of the Internet Writing Workshop.

September 25, 2009

Matt Ryan

—Photo by National Park Service


Pawn Shop


You hate that you got to the point where
you double-check your order at the Taco Bell
drive-through. That's what happens when life
forces you to take your mother's wedding
dress to the pawn shop, hoping you'll
save up the money to repurchase it.
It wasn't always this way. Once upon a time
before you'd ever heard of Kierkegaard, you
stood at the lake and prepared to leap, as Pachelbel
blasted his cannon, telling you, a dude, to dress
up like the bride of the Sea God and walk
toward your groom. You may have gotten wet,
but the water kept you warm till you got out
and were greeted by the cold wind. Years later
you'd hear Jimi Hendrix's rendition of the
national anthem and learn that distortion
has a way of wringing the muck from a sponge
so that it's once again light and airy,
even if it's still a dead thing. Eventually,
you'll head back to the pawn shop,
not to reclaim what was yours
because another now wears it, but to
understand why you gave it up for so little.

CP

Matt Ryan's poems have appeared in Pindeldyboz, Opium, Word Riot, and others. He is a Pushcart Prize nominee, editor for Best New Writing, and English professor at Concordia University, St. Paul. He holds the MFA in Writing from Spalding University.

Hattie Wilcox

—Photo Butterfly Cottonballs © 2009 by Hattie Wilcox



Kissing Lesson (If I Could See You)

If I could see you
I would give you a kissing lesson
And you would adore
The one-on-one messing
With my lips

If I could see you
I would play you piano melodies
And you would come in strong
At just the right bar
On guitar

If I could see you
I would waltz you through butterflies and cotton balls
Until you fell fast
Asleep in my clothes
Feet exposed

If I could see you
I would wash you in a candlelight bath
Bubbles and marijuana
And anything you might ask
Would be yours

If I could see you
I would feed you smoked ham and butter beans
And to your heart's content
You could slumber and snore
After sex


And I would never mind at all
If I could see you

CP

Hattie Wilcox's love of poetry and piano led her to songwriting and the 2008 release of her debut CD, Red Bird Tattoo. She has won prize money for her lyrics and has lived to see her first royalty check. She continues to write poetry—her first love. Find out more here.

September 24, 2009

Judith Quaempts


Thoughts Upon Viewing His Body


How handsome you look, Nephew, in your ribbon shirt, your white buckskin leggings and moccasins, the bone choker made with your own hands. How handsome you look dressed for your journey. How proud.

I came to say goodbye. Funny though, I look at you and I don't see a man of twenty-four, instead I see a boy of five, running from the Mission store.

"Look Auntie," you yelled to me that day, hoisting a little sack high. "I got candy!"

A year later you were found in an empty theater at three in the morning.
"Lost," you answered, when asked where your parents were.

They stayed lost for years.

The State moved in and gave you away. The couple who took you did their best, but their best wasn’t enough. The older you got, the madder you got until in a rage, you stole a car and gun.

Thank God you were caught and sent to jail because when you came out you wanted to turn your life around.

And you did. You found your parents, discovered sisters and brothers you didn't know you had. You were happy for awhile, happy until that nightmare afternoon your little sister climbed the railroad bridge so she could see the river.

You ran. Oh, God, you ran.

The train was faster.

A door closed then. You blamed yourself. You'd had enough. You wanted out.

It's a good day to die, you wrote, before you pulled the trigger.

This bag of penny candy is melting in my hand. I meant to tuck it in beside you before we put you in the ground, but what's the use? Penny candy can't turn back the clock, or take away the grief we feel because we couldn't save you.

Little boy running from the Mission store, I miss you.

CP

Judith Kelly Quaempts lives and writes in eastern Oregon. Her work has been published in T-Zero, Drunk and Lonely Men, and Camroc Press Review.

September 23, 2009

Nancy Calhoun


Evening


The sun descends behind the mountain we call ours,
pale orange blush bleeds into shadow play
and begins to lay the quiet blanket down
for night to stand the watch.

Nighthawks plunge with swooping echo,
now a purple mist their darkening backdrop.
Distant coyotes summon the pack for the hunt,
while cool breezes blow away the remainder of the sun

In the deepening dark we speak softer, sip wine,
drink stars, taste gratitude thick on our lips.
Like a chorus, the tranquil hush sings
the words heard at the level of the heart.

It is enough they say, enough for the soul,
this spot on a hill where we make our home,
a sanctuary to protect what remains of
our dreams, tenderly holding us in its palm.

CP

Nancy Calhoun recently retired from corporate America. She has also sung opera part-time (quite well known in places no one has ever heard of). She lives in a small ranch town in southeast Arizona, in a home nestled in grasslands on a hill surrounded by mountains. Its beauty inspires her every day as she writes by the window, with opera playing on her Ipod.

September 22, 2009

Diana Rosen


HAPPILY MARRIED


Who could imagine wedding plans exploding the good sense of this practical family, her father refused to wear his new Sunday suit, her niece wanted to steal the show—somersault down the aisle—her mother invited everyone she knew to just drop by.

So Mary said, "George, we're eloping. Tonight. Let's take the 6:58 to Reno, we'll be there by nine, married by eleven, start tomorrow as Mr. and Mrs."

Best decision they ever made.

Oh, she did love that man, fifty-three years seemed like fifty-three minutes. Isn't the quiet something awful? And the cold, so damn cold without him. Why does death seem to make even a closet of neatly hung clothes look abandoned? The old woman closes her eyes to rest in his favorite wing chair that imitates the comfort he gave her.

She dreams. Hums. Behind her, in the valet tray, his keys, change, frayed wallet holding that perennial token of his love, the fragile near-transparent blue ticket stub from that starlit bus trip long ago.

CP

Diana Rosen's work has appeared in the anthologies Kiss Me Goodnight, Those Who Can...Teach, and Bold Ink plus the journals Lucidity, convolvulus and RATTLE, among others.

September 21, 2009

Janann Dawkins


Famous Last Words


Let's have a really good red wine tonight*,
let's let our dinner settle in our stomachs,
let's stutter around in the den, tender tiptoes
dimpling an utter footstep into dusk,
arch stretching, rack of heaven,
a hardened halo tracked in dust.
Let's run to Reno.
Let's try breaking records
against the walls. Let's suck wind
and die. Let's take our hands
and lace them like lashes.

Let's evade our capture.


* These eight words are said to be the last Carl Jung ever spoke.

CP

Janann Dawkins lives in Ann Arbor. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in decomP, Gloom Cupboard, Gutter Eloquence, Shoots and Vines, Danse Macabre, among others. Her chapbook, Micropleasure, was published by Leadfoot Press in 2008.

September 20, 2009

Deanna Hershiser


A Discovered Legacy


When I was thirty, my grandma pulled a file from her cabinet and handed me a yellowed card. "Here's something an author can appreciate," she said, knowing I toiled at learning to write.

The card, dated 1955, read, "Thank you for your interest in the New Yorker. Your submission does not meet our current needs."

I turned the card over. Addressed to Grandma Edna's place in Eugene, Oregon, it had been mailed, not to her, but to Richard Brautigan. I remembered his name. I'd heard it several times during my childhood.

Decades earlier, my dad had bought an odd book, explaining he was friends with the man who'd written it. That impressed me. The person on the cover was real, someone Dad grew up with.

Grandma Edna now told me she'd gotten to know Richard Brautigan the years he and Dad fished together. Richard helped Dad discover, after their shared 1953 high school graduation, a love of exploring nearby rivers. Back then their arrangement worked well: Dad had wheels—an ancient Ford he'd bought—and Richard always carried an extra fishing pole and gear.

Richard found solace penning poetry. He longed to escape Oregon for San Francisco, establish himself as a writer, and be discovered.

One night Dad entered his friend's room and saw wadded papers lining the far wall. When he asked what they were, Richard said they were rejected pieces, mostly poems. "I'm through with every one of them," Richard said.

Dad reached into the scattered pile and smoothed a page. "You can't get rid of these," he said. "I've never heard writing like yours. These are worth a lot now, but when you're famous they'll be worth so much more. Don't throw them away."

Richard kept the writings. Not long afterward, Portland's Oregonian published several of the poems in its Sunday editions.

Later he asked Grandma Edna to hold onto some of his manuscripts, including the one rejected by the New Yorker. Whether bravado overtook him that day, or he was being goofy or just grateful, I don't know, but Richard said to my grandma, "Keep these, Edna. Someday they'll be your social security." Then he wrote and signed a note, in effect bequeathing the works to her.

At the time she shared her stories with me, Grandma Edna was in her late seventies. She'd hung onto Richard's note for nearly forty years.

He'd made it to San Francisco and had found fame indeed, becoming a cult hero on college campuses. He died tragically in 1984.

Grandma Edna contacted a book dealer in the 1990s, around the time she showed me her file. She agreed to sell the original manuscripts, receiving a modest sum that she used to pay back taxes.

Grandma Edna and Dad flew to San Francisco in 1999 for a book-signing event. On a lovely autumn evening a crowd gathered to hear stories they both told about Richard Brautigan as a very young man. Dad remembers his mother, at 86, in great form answering questions. For over two hours they went on.

Today Dad recalls their trip together as her last hurrah. Grandma Edna died six months later. Her Edna Webster Collection of Undiscovered Writings remains in print. I appreciate seeing it on the shelf. It's our piece of legacy.

CP

Deanna Hershiser lives in Oregon with her family and a small dog and large cat. Her essays have appeared in Relief: A Quarterly Christian Expression and Runner's World, among others. Her website is here.

September 19, 2009

Virginia Winters


COMING HOME


As I stood at the nurses' station, signing off charts, I heard a familiar, querulous voice. I followed it to a room across the hall and there she was, Aunt Tillie, my mother's oldest friend, terror of my childhood. I hadn't seen her in the ten years since my mother died. Somehow she knew I was there, and turned to direct that awful glare towards me.

"Althea, is that you? Get in here," she ordered, and like always I obeyed. I kissed the translucent skin when she pointed to an acceptable spot on her cheek.

"I didn't know you were sick," I said. Her hand, warm and strong in my memory, felt cold as I took it.

"Dying, dear, or will be soon, if I don't let them cut me open and remove most of my insides."

I struggled to keep tears from flowing. She had always been there: reinforcing my mother's rules as she raised the three of us without a father; holding my hand when I had my appendix out and my brother broke his arm all on the same day and our mother couldn't be with both of us; standing proudly with my mother the day I graduated from medical school. Our estrangement led to my neglect of her all those years.

"What is it?"

"Cancer, dear. In the womb. I think it has spread from the way they talk."

"There's treatment for that," I said, relieved.

"No, Althea." She squeezed my hand. "Look at it straight." The old admonition, whenever I broke the rules, or was unrealistic.

"Dr. Lang said they can't cure it, but can help me live a while longer. I said no. I'm going home today. They're arranging home care." Home care. Strangers cleaning her house and her body.

"Are you okay with that?"

"No, but staying here is worse." Suddenly tired, she closed her eyes and drifted into sleep.

Tillie had been with my mother during her last illness, when I'd been in London, working on my fellowship. There'd been no words of reproach for my absence, but I thought I saw it every
time she looked at me at the funeral. I grew a hard knot of anger and resentment then and carried it still.

She'd been Mom's constant companion after my father left us. I owed her for loving my mother and caring for her all those years. My own guilt had kept me away. Now as I looked at her tired face, I knew that I'd been hurt and angry at the change in their relationship from friends to life partners. A change I wasn't able to acknowledge or accept until now.

She opened her eyes again.

"Do you want to come home with me?" I heard myself ask.

"It won't be easy, Althea. You know how we clash." I heard the words,but saw the hope and relief in her eyes.

"Nobody promised easy," I said her own old words to her. She smiled, and squeezed my hand and drifted again.

I took Tillie home, settled her into a chair on the front porch and made us tea. I watched her rocking gently in the warm summer air, felt the lightness in my heart and knew that I had come home, too.

CP

Virginia Winters lives in Lindsay, Ontario Canada. Her work has appeared in Confabulation2, Wynterblue Publishing, and Pine Tree Mysteries.

September 18, 2009

Nana Ollerenshaw


ON THE TRAPPING OF MINERS AT BEACONSFIELD APRIL 2006


Time has lost the day
to tell it what to do,
lost the night for sleep.
A kilometer deep
they hear the roar
that splits their lives in two
drowned in rock,
emboweled, all for gold.
How can profit matter now.
Sky and sun are dreams
they dreamed at birth,
blue and green a myth,
hope, a scratching.
Time is measured
by the length of fear,
by reconciliation in too short
a breath with death
grown fat with stone.
And if an outside chance should save them,
should drill them from their end
they will be changed.

CP

Nana Ollerenshaw grew up in Connecticut, married an Australian, and moved to Australia in 1965. She changed from school teaching to nursing in 1988, and currently lives in Buderim on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland.

September 16, 2009

Ruth Douillette

—Photo Serenity and Wisdom by Ruth Douillette


Coffee Break


He wanted coffee on the drive back to the halfway-house. I pulled into a shabby variety store and watched as he went in to order an extra large with two shots of espresso.

His belly stretched the 3XL tee shirt that hung over long, baggy shorts. He still had a wiffle, a no fuss hair cut, but his face was full, double chin fringed with a neat goatee. What happened to my skinny little boy?

He stood beside the truck to smoke a cigarette before getting back in.

When he flicked away the butt and huffed into the passenger seat, setting his coffee in the cup holder to cool, smoke still flowed from his nose.

He saw me glance at his tattoo, the one on his left arm, the grim reaper.

"You don't like my tattoos, do you?" He rubbed a hand fondly over the length of the figure on his fleshy forearm. His nails were neatly trimmed, but needed a good scrubbing like I used to give them each night before supper.

"I'm not wild about them, " I said.

"Mothers never are." He chuckled.

He stretched out his right arm where the sharp tip of a cross pierced a heart. His shirt hid the wolf on his shoulder and the thorns encircling his right bicep, but on his neck I could see the skull with a rose in its teeth, a ghoulish flamenco dancer with a wicked grin.

He pulled a lottery ticket and a quarter from his pocket, and scratched, fingers trembling, pausing slowly after uncovering each number to blow the scrapings away. His breathing was noisy, labored sounds made by a heavy man who's smoked a pack a day for twelve years.

"Whoo hoo! Fifty bucks!" He looked at me, more light in his eyes than I'd seen since he won the fifty-yard dash in fifth grade.

He grinned, then, ever sensitive, said, "I know, Mom. You think I should save my money."

I nodded.

"I should," he said, getting out to cash the ticket.

CP

Ruth Douillette is a freelance writer and photographer. She's an associate editor at the Internet Review of Books and blogs at Upstream and Down.

September 15, 2009

Suzy Devere


when i draw you


when i draw you
i will use scant
line

my hand will
make marks
described as
'barely there'

and it will be
like we're used to

me looking
working
and you
walking away

CP

Suzy Devere is a prostitute, a drug addict, a Dr.'s wife, a Lawyer's wife, a mistress to a famous Saudi Sheikh, a mother, an intellectual, an academic, an athlete, a painter, a drawer, a photographer, and writer who feels utterly, stunningly alone. Her work has appeared in various sites on-line including Black-Listed and 3:00 AM Magazine. Suzy has lived all over the world but right now lives next door to you.

September 14, 2009

xTx


In My Favor


I hate when all the girls like you
I hate it all caps
exclamation point

There is a circle they make
and they dance naked around you
pointing to their crotches
then at you
then at their crotches
I can’t see your face
but I imagine you are smiling
You can’t see me
because I’m way in the back
always in the back
too shy to dance naked
too proper to crotch point

My false mouth.

I would like to run and push them
all down
and grab you
and erase your brain
and fill it with only me
Nobody else should want you
or see your beauty
because when you know that
there will be no chance
for me

If your only choice
is one…
is me…
I have a 100% chance
of success

CP

xTx is finally on top. She is widely published and blogs here.

September 12, 2009

Barry Basden


Call for Submissions


It's amazing that
my little online review
has brought such richness
into my shabby life,
almost like owning
a used bookstore long ago—

just a few musty rooms
in a ramshackle building downtown
where I can sit quietly
with an old alley cat I've tamed
and wait for surprises to come through the door.

Just last night I opened the mail
and there was this note sent
by a woman from—oh, it doesn't
matter where from.

But she said how much
she loved CPR
and, in particular,
the emotional work that maintains
such tension between rawness and craft.

There it is. The cat leapt
into my lap and began purring.

Please send more.

—An earlier version appeared in 50 to 1

CP

Barry Basden writes mostly short pieces these days. Some have been published in various online and print venues. Some have not.

September 11, 2009

Karen Sosnoski


Special Days


1.

Irene never eats her apples. Of course she’s gone bald.

You told me no one dies until they’re ready. Sorry, but if Irene,
you, Daddy, and my brother want to die, I’ll just have to find
a new family. I don’t want to but...

I won’t be dying someday so little kids won't have to be nice
to me. I don’t even know Jesus. I’m not gonna live with him.

A nursing home? Gross! My old babysitter breast feeds? How
come they’re mostly women here? Irene better find a husband
to get her out.

Quick.

2.

Irene will love this. I made her hair almost as long as mine and
our hairs flow together. Sometimes she took me to a park and I
played with a girl there but now I don’t remember that girl’s
name or what she looked like. And we always played together.
No, it’s not too late to give my picture to Irene. It takes them
a while to get up there.

We don’t forget Irene but we’re happy anyway.

They put her in a pink dress?! I guess cuz it’s her special day.

CP

Karen Sosnoski is a writer, filmmaker, and mother. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in decomP, Los Angeles Times, Poets and Writers, Pembroke Review, among other literary journals and anthologies. Her documentary film, Wedding Advice: Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace, is distributed by Berkeley Media. Her fierce daughter is a newly minted second grader and her friendly son is in preschool.

September 9, 2009

John Grey


CURE-ALL


Another letter from you,
full of medical advice.
You write to my ailments,
not to me.
I’m beginning to think
it’s my headaches you miss,
the allergies, the cough.
You lived with them, not with me.
Your companion was the throb
behind my forehead,
the sneezing fits,
the cigarette hack of one
who never smoked.
I’m sure you only pretend
to want them cured
with your new-age remedies,
your lists of pharmaceutical web sites.
If I got better,
you’d be killing your own memories.
A clean bill of health for me
is five years stolen from your life.
You end your letter with the usual
“Love you.”
That’s another cure that you
don’t really wish for me.

CP

John Grey has been published in the Georgetown Review, Connecticut Review, South Carolina Review and The Pedestal, among others.

September 8, 2009

Ivan Jenson


My Manuscript


Look what happened
to the truth and the facts
and the past
I have processed it
purified it
and brought it
to poetic justice
look what has become
of my pleasure
and my pain
I have changed
the names and
shuffled the particulars
and made something
of what is forever gone
as it was...there was no form
as it was...there was no arc
as it was...there were only
chance meetings
chance love affairs
chance of rain
and no chance
for anyone to share
in the melodrama
but now when they
read my manuscript
I can safely
lie when I say
“Of course you know
none of this is true.”

CP

Born in LA, Ivan Jenson was a prodigy in poetry and art. He moved to New York City where he received recognition and praise for his bold Pop Art. His Absolut Jenson painting was featured in Art News, Art in America, and he has sold several works at Christie's New York. His poems have appeared Word Riot, Hidden City Quarterly, Thoughtsmith, Viral Cat, Poetic Desperation, and Bread & Circuses, among others.

September 7, 2009

C.N. Bean


Lost Shoe, 1960s


I wish I had understood
what John the Baptist had meant
about not being worthy
to untie
another’s shoe

when he showed up in new shoes
while we played in a large field
near a river too muddy
to baptize
anyone in

and we grabbed him and held him
until I removed a shoe
which we used as an object
in a game
of keep away

that he grew tired of playing
so someone said get it now
or it goes in the river
and I proved
it could happen.

Once brown water swallowed shoe
we scrambled to get away
and I hid in my bedroom
expecting
divorced mother

who earned tips as a waitress
though she never showed despite
priceless shoes that still haunt me
as I see
her son wear old.

CP

C.N. Bean has published several novels and various stories. He is on the English faculty of Virginia Tech.

September 5, 2009

Diana Rosen


The scent of a woman lingers


in her kitchen like her signature
sauce simmering until it steams the
windows on a damp autumn day;
in her children’s bedrooms like her
reading voice or memories of tender
kisses planted on pretending-to-sleep faces.

The scent of a woman lingers
everywhere her husband turns,
family photos, the too-big-now bed,
her hairbrush abandoned on the bureau.

—First appeared in Lucidity Poetry Journal


CP

Diana Rosen's poetry has appeared in the anthologies Kiss Me Goodnight, Those Who Can....Teach, and Bold Ink plus the journals convolvulus and RATTLE, among others.

September 3, 2009

Janann Dawkins


Like Magic


His antics are a monkey
in distress. Clouds of powder
everywhere. In this mise en scène

the players play the game. An explosion
and rubble on the floor.
A perfume bottle.

This is the self we all bring
to the table, tapped in exhaustion,
myriad words all over the floor
like minions. Distress
erects our defenses,
cardboard-thin.

CP

Janann Dawkins lives in Ann Arbor. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in decomP, Gloom Cupboard, Gutter Eloquence, Shoots and Vines, and Danse Macabre, among others. Her chapbook, Micropleasure, was published by Leadfoot Press in 2008.

September 2, 2009

J.S. Graustein


Crush


The rules were simple. Toss the frisbee as far as you could toward the woods, then be the first person to snatch it from the brush. Tackling was encouraged. Biting and scratching were right out. Play lasted until we could no longer see or our mothers called us in. Last one with the frisbee won. And of course, games were always co-ed.

Games started with a whole gang. That's when it made the most sense: one person to throw and nine to race. But then Charlie usually gashed his leg and would run home to get his cut cleaned. His mother always worried about flesh-eating bacteria, so Charlie worried about prompt wound care. Jeff usually left with Charlie since they were best friends. Then we'd be down to eight.

But eight still made a fun pack. One to throw and seven to race. The crush of bodies at the landing spot was the best. The boys' bruised elbows and knees tangled up in the girls' long hair, left free of pig tails on purpose. At 13, we'd use any excuse for physical contact—any excuse that had nothing to do with the real reason we played.

The real reason? Curiosity. Jenny wanted to know if Kevin's bicep felt as strong as it looked. Kevin wanted to know how soft Stella's shirt felt, just below its v-neck. And Stella wanted to find Ricky's tickle-spot. But no matter how many hours a night we played, no matter how many times Jenny bounced off that bicep, no matter how many times Kevin brushed his cheek against that shirt, Knowledge eluded us.

Everyone else swirled around each other in a curiosity whirlpool, but Todd and I focused solely on each other. His were always the first hands at my waist when I neared the frisbee. Mine were always the first fingers on his arm as he reached to pluck that plastic disc from low branches. And while we never knew when we'd be called in, there was always the hope that someday we'd be the last two players.

One night the full moon came out early, before the sun disappeared. This strange arrangement must have confused our mothers, because it was the only time Todd and I were the last ones out. Playing with two created a problem we'd never encountered. If one threw and one chased, there would be no tackling. Might as well just play catch with the frisbee, but where was the fun in that? No contact. No anticipation of contact. So we decided that one of us would throw, then both of us would chase; you know, to keep things interesting.

Five tackles like that and we discarded pretense. We sat on the grassy bank at the edge of the oak scrub, watching the full moon. His arms around my waist. My head against his chest. Forever wrapped in five minutes. But just as Todd discovered the benefits of whispering in my ear, our mothers called us in. We leapt apart, felt around the grass for the forgotten frisbee, and climbed the bank toward our homes. We'd broken the old rules, created new ones, and played hard with the outcome an unexpected victory: Knowledge was ours.

CP

J.S. Graustein writes in flannel, a stuffed frog nestled in her lap. A list of the resulting works may be accessed here. She also plays Managing Editor at Folded Word.

September 1, 2009

Mark Kerstetter


Ghosts


I want to talk to you
(you who are not here)
(I'm not either)
(we're both beside the point, which has been derailed).
In good faith I submit this report.
I await your reply.

In the meantime


CP

Mark Kerstetter has been neglecting his duties to write poetry again. His work has appeared in Jerry Jazz Musician, Shaking Like A Mountain and Unlikely Stories. He is a regular contributor to the online art journal, Escape into Life and he blogs here.