Showing posts with label Deanna Hershiser. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deanna Hershiser. Show all posts

September 20, 2009

Deanna Hershiser


A Discovered Legacy


When I was thirty, my grandma pulled a file from her cabinet and handed me a yellowed card. "Here's something an author can appreciate," she said, knowing I toiled at learning to write.

The card, dated 1955, read, "Thank you for your interest in the New Yorker. Your submission does not meet our current needs."

I turned the card over. Addressed to Grandma Edna's place in Eugene, Oregon, it had been mailed, not to her, but to Richard Brautigan. I remembered his name. I'd heard it several times during my childhood.

Decades earlier, my dad had bought an odd book, explaining he was friends with the man who'd written it. That impressed me. The person on the cover was real, someone Dad grew up with.

Grandma Edna now told me she'd gotten to know Richard Brautigan the years he and Dad fished together. Richard helped Dad discover, after their shared 1953 high school graduation, a love of exploring nearby rivers. Back then their arrangement worked well: Dad had wheels—an ancient Ford he'd bought—and Richard always carried an extra fishing pole and gear.

Richard found solace penning poetry. He longed to escape Oregon for San Francisco, establish himself as a writer, and be discovered.

One night Dad entered his friend's room and saw wadded papers lining the far wall. When he asked what they were, Richard said they were rejected pieces, mostly poems. "I'm through with every one of them," Richard said.

Dad reached into the scattered pile and smoothed a page. "You can't get rid of these," he said. "I've never heard writing like yours. These are worth a lot now, but when you're famous they'll be worth so much more. Don't throw them away."

Richard kept the writings. Not long afterward, Portland's Oregonian published several of the poems in its Sunday editions.

Later he asked Grandma Edna to hold onto some of his manuscripts, including the one rejected by the New Yorker. Whether bravado overtook him that day, or he was being goofy or just grateful, I don't know, but Richard said to my grandma, "Keep these, Edna. Someday they'll be your social security." Then he wrote and signed a note, in effect bequeathing the works to her.

At the time she shared her stories with me, Grandma Edna was in her late seventies. She'd hung onto Richard's note for nearly forty years.

He'd made it to San Francisco and had found fame indeed, becoming a cult hero on college campuses. He died tragically in 1984.

Grandma Edna contacted a book dealer in the 1990s, around the time she showed me her file. She agreed to sell the original manuscripts, receiving a modest sum that she used to pay back taxes.

Grandma Edna and Dad flew to San Francisco in 1999 for a book-signing event. On a lovely autumn evening a crowd gathered to hear stories they both told about Richard Brautigan as a very young man. Dad remembers his mother, at 86, in great form answering questions. For over two hours they went on.

Today Dad recalls their trip together as her last hurrah. Grandma Edna died six months later. Her Edna Webster Collection of Undiscovered Writings remains in print. I appreciate seeing it on the shelf. It's our piece of legacy.

CP

Deanna Hershiser lives in Oregon with her family and a small dog and large cat. Her essays have appeared in Relief: A Quarterly Christian Expression and Runner's World, among others. Her website is here.

February 26, 2009

Emily's Last Day
Deanna Hershiser

On the trip to Emily's house, Neil rode beside his brother Ben, who drove. Passing Harrisburg, Neil reached into his ear and pulled out what looked like a small wad of Playdough. He tapped the minuscule antenna. "I got hearing aids."

"Good for you, Neil. About time."

Neil grinned. "When you and I go out to the lake in April, I'll notice the birds. If a trout splashes, I'll hear it."

"I'll have to get a better reel," Ben said.

Neil settled comfortably into his seat, glad to talk fishing. He decided if Emily had been with them she'd likely have commented, "Enjoy the day, boys. No long faces."

At last they parked in front of her house. Their other sisters and their nieces hugged them at the door. Beyond everyone, Emily lay in a hospital bed, her eyes closed. She lay on her back, the family nose aimed at the ceiling. The cancer had ravaged her frame, and the blankets tucked to her chin couldn't soften her emaciated form.

"Emily," Neil said. "You snore like I do."

She closed her mouth.

"Hey, she heard me!"

The women nodded. "She's aware of us."

They went to the kitchen for food. There were orange wedges, triangle sandwiches, and paper plates. Then they sat in the living room, balancing the plates on their laps, surrounded by Emily's knick-knacks and paintings. The orange tasted sour.

Emily had never married. She had worked all her life, and her coworkers stopped by to pay respects. With his new hearing aids, Neil listened to soft conversations humming. Finally people began to drift away in the late afternoon. His sisters, who'd been caring for Emily for weeks, looked weary. A hospice nurse would be in later to stay the night.

Neil lingered at Emily's bedside, wishing she'd open her eyes.

"Let's sing a hymn," Ben said. The family grasped hands and almost encircled the bed. Neil didn't know all the words to Amazing Grace, but he listened intently to the haunting song. In the silence afterward, he bent to hug Emily's wasted shoulders.

"I'll never forget," he whispered, "how you saved me from Billy Hanson when he had me down that day in second grade."

Neil kissed Emily's cheek and her face twitched. "I couldn't beat anyone," he said. "So you did. I saw his bloody nose. Good punch."

Emily's breathing shifted slightly. He knew she'd heard him.

"Thanks, Sis. I love you." Neil kissed his sister again and let go of her hand.

A few minutes later, the brothers said their goodbyes and stepped into the evening air, where Neil stood on the porch for a moment, listening. He could hear sparrows singing hymns in the trees.

CP

Deanna Hershiser lives in Oregon with her family and a small dog and large cat. Her essays have appeared in Relief: A Quarterly Christian Expression and Runner's World, among others. She blogs here.