The woman I met today looked just like Charlie Chaplin’s first wife. But that would be impossible: she would be 109 years old. That’s the difference between me and Charlie Chaplin: he fancied very young women, I prefer older ones. If she were to say, “You have to marry me—I’m pregnant!” I wouldn’t believe her. Charlie Chaplin would, and did. And it’s not because he was such a wonderful man; he was just easy to fool. All you had to do was open your mouth and say something.
Ricky Garni is a graphic designer and father of two, living in Carrboro, NC. His writing has appeared in Mad Swirl, Evergreen Review, Used Furniture Review, Abjective, Pedestal Magazine, and many other fine places. The biographies he loves best and confuse him the most always end with this kind of a sentence: "At which point he quit work and decided to devote his life entirely to his poetry."