April 6, 2011

Meg Johnson

I Wish I Was in Jail

I wish I was in jail
because then I would be
given three free meals a day.
I would have time to read
the books I really want
to read and I would have
time to get really buff.
No one would pressure me to
renew an apartment lease
eleven months in advance.
I have no qualms about
the uniform. My high school
colors were orange and black
which I rocked, especially as a
baton twirler. I've always
been complimented on my
license and ID photos so
pulling off a good mug shot
would be a snap. I've also been
wondering if I should have
experimented with being
a lesbian by now and prison
would give me plenty of time
to explore whether I'm bisexual
or not. Anyway, I just thought
I'd let you know what's new with
me now that we're dating again.
You can pretend to be turned off
by the idea of conjugal visits
but you won't be fooling anyone.
I'm sure you could help me
find a good crime to commit.

"Be Prepared"

I quit Girl Scouts
the day after my troop's
after school activity was
polishing silver. It was
a child's version of buyer's
remorse. It was like
you get married and your
spouse starts making pet
jewelry. Polishing silver was
a preview to dater's remorse.
I was 24 and on a third date.
My date's living room
was equipped with a
stripper pole and disco
ball. Like a sort of sexual
hostage, he forced a
strip tease/pole dance on me.
Scattered clothes around
the room. His upside down
body hanging from the pole.
I sat on the couch like a
1950's secretary with
agoraphobia. My crotch
like the desert.


Before my first piano lesson
I saw a girl cry.
My mother dropped me off early.
The piano room had a curtain
for a door.
I watched the end of
the preceding lesson.
Not much older than me
the girl was seated at the
piano, playing and crying.
I never liked playing the piano.


Meg Johnson's poems have appeared in Slipstream Magazine, Word Riot, Blood Lotus, WTF PWM, U.S. 1 Worksheets, and others. Her poem "Free Samples" was nominated for Best of the Net. She blogs at: megjohnsonmegjohnson.blogspot.com

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