November 19, 2010


All Sales Final

I sat here. I am sitting here and I think: what does he want?

#1.  I know it’s not me, so that can be let go of.
#2.  I know it’s not me, so I can take the knives out.
#3.  I know it’s not me, so I can continue giving up.

If I was her maybe, or maybe if I cleaned up my act; wore dresses, crossed my legs, sat at a booth instead of the bar.

Made the boys laugh less.

Spoke when speakin to.

Danced when asked not alone on an empty floor, eyes closed.

Waited. Watched. Withering.

Nobody likes a circus in a person.  Nobody wants the me that I am.  This is a given.  I need a cage with a sign that tells everyone exactly what they are getting.

A written guarantee.  No surprises.  All sales final.

Therefore, my definitive answer to this question is; I only know what he doesn’t want.

And I know exactly where he can get it.


xTx lives in California. Her work has been published in elimae, PANK, SmokeLong, Dogzplot and many other fine places.

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