July 22, 2009


It's Up to You...

What do you guys want? Do you want to do something? Let me know. I’m up for anything. Mostly. I like hiking, but as long as it’s not too strenuous or hot.

I like to wash a cool car in a driveway but there must be good music playing and the sun must be out and there has to be frosty Newcastles in a cooler nearby, and at some point you’ll have to squirt me with the hose and I will scream and try to hit you with my soapy sponge.

I don’t think I can rollerblade. I think arm wrestling is boring. I don’t like to go shopping. I like to walk fast at the beach. Maybe we could just sit side by side and read. I’ll take a second from the page to watch you shift position and then I’ll smile because, look!, we are reading side by side! Maybe we will have lunch afterwards. There is a sandwich I keep dreaming about. I mean, not while asleep…while awake. It’s a grilled turkey and cheese with an Ortega chili on sourdough. It’s pretty incredible. I think about it at least 4 times a week.

Last night I dreamed about lesbians. I dreamed that Betty White was a lesbian and nobody could say anything.

So, any of this sound good to you? Do you notice how I didn’t suggest anything sexual? Are you proud of me? Maybe we could go to your place and watch movies. I’ve been craving some Abbott & Costello. If you can get hold of a box set or something, I’d come over. I’d bring snacks and maybe you’d have bottled water or something. Maybe you’d have a blanket and maybe you’d watch me while I was laughing. Maybe, then, you’d think I was the best thing ever.


xTx is widely published and has a large under- and above ground following. She also blogs at no time to say it, where she provocatively displays more of her angst, vitality, and outrageous behavior. Consider yourself forewarned.

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